Lent: A Perfect Time to (Finally) Give Up Nuts

21 Feb

Refusing the King Cake put me in the doghouse with my 2yo.

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Happy Fat Tuesday, y’all!

A year ago, we spent Fat Tuesday at Library Story Time. We learned all about Mardi Gras celebrations, glued feathers to black plastic masks, and had a parade where library staff threw candy at my then-2yo and 8mo. My kids didn’t really know what candy was, so there wasn’t much fuss. But as they pulled out the King Cake and started handing out servings to all the children, we had some major fits. Luckily, I had strawberries in my purse to appease the little guy.

Even though I’d been Paleo for 6 months, it was one of my first introductions into the world of You Can’t Control All the Food That Passes In Front of Your Children. Some people know this as the real world.

In the real world, Fat Tuesday signifies the last night of eating richer, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of the Lenten season, which starts tomorrow.

I am not Catholic, but I love to participate. This year’s experiment in self-control will be applied to nuts.

While I know nuts have powerful health benefits in small amounts, I also know they bother me. When I eat them, my nose gets itchy and I occasionally get a headache or stomach ache. My intake is limited, but I’ve never been brave enough to completely strip them from my diet.

So for Lent–no more nuts. And in 40 days, I’ll see if my worst nut-allergy nightmares are confirmed.

Are you giving anything  up?

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Friday Link Love: Paleo Summit

17 Feb

There is so much great content out there. Here’s a sampling of what I’m reading when I’m not writing.

Thanks for putting this together Sean Croxton!

The Paleo Summit is Here by Underground Wellness: Sad you didn’t get to attend the Ancestral Health Symposium? Never fear, 23 Paleo Rock Stars are doing FREE online presentations over 8 days, so register today.

Is Emotional Eating Always As Emotional As It Seems? by PaleoWorks: I have an internet crush on the PaleoWorks site, and I think they may very soon receive a whole Friday Link Love devoted just to them. Until then, this article highlights some of the biology behind emotional eating (which I think plays a much bigger role than we give credit).

The Paleo Diet Cures PCOS on Primal Toad: This is written by The Primal Parent Peggy Emch who is pretty freakin’ rad and just happens to also know a whole lot about PCOS.

Preschooler’s Homemade Lunch Replaced with Cafeteria “Nuggets” on Carolina Journal Online: A little girl’s “turkey and cheese sandwich, banana, potato chips, and apple juice did not meet U.S. Department of Agriculture guidelines” so it was supplemented with 3 chicken nuggets. I can understand the enforcer’s perspective, even if I don’t agree with it. What I have a hard time understanding is how my child’s lunch box could fall under the USDA’s jurisdiction.

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Real Food Ryan Gosling

16 Feb

Ryan Gosling eats real food. How dreamy.

Ryan Gosling is everywhere. I know this because every time my 20mo baby takes my phone, she finds a way to access the internet and look up Ryan Gosling photos. His publicity team is amazing.

Anyway, Real Food Ryan Gosling gave me quite the laugh. I assume it’s all in jest, but who knows. Maybe he really does drink bone broth and kombucha.

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Insights Into The Whole30 Gone Bad

13 Feb

How many blocks are in this stalk of celery?

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Before finding Paleo, I tried to Zone. I read Barry Sears’ book and responded to the information on insulin resistance. My husband printed out the Meal Plans Blocks Chart from the CrossFit Journal and we were all in.

After exactly three days, I quit.

Physically, I had the shakes, I was hungry, and I was exhausted.

Mentally, my head was spinning because this constant focus on macronutrients was new and a little annoying. I couldn’t figure out the exact right amount of blocks to eat and I didn’t know how to accurately assess my physical activity.

Emotionally, I was a mess. I was yelling at my son for messing up my blocks when he tried to grab a carrot off my plate. I weighed and measured everything precisely; he wasn’t going to screw it up. I was totally consumed by my perverted view of the Zone’s proper implementation. I had “complete control” over my food and I was determined to do it “right.” After 72 short hours, I dangerously close to reverting back to my eating disorder days.

I told my husband I was quitting immediately. I already felt myself going back to the old me, the one that would hide in the closet with a celery stalk, the one who felt guilty for eating so much, the one I hated so much.

I sort of felt like a loser. Lots of people could Zone, why not me? But I was also relieved. Given my history and obsession with “dieting perfectly,” the Zone was all wrong for me. For once in my life, I listened to my body.

Should I Quit Paleo?

Whole9's Insight into The Whole30 Gone Bad

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I wrote recently about Paleo being my version of a nutrient-dense eating disorder. These are murky waters that I’ve been navigating solo, feeling like there is limited support in a community of perfect eaters. Today, Whole9 brilliantly posted about what to do when healthy eating becomes unhealthy in The Whole30 Gone Bad.

I loved every piece of that article. For some time now, it’s been difficult for me to read anyone but Mark Sisson (who is a huge proponent of the 80/20 rule). It seemed like every other Paleo blogger (myself included) was touting Paleo as the only healthy way to eat. All ailments could be attributed to poor nutrition, so if my nutrition wasn’t spot on, it was all my fault. I’d received my just desserts. I don’t feel this way anymore (and consequently, I’m a lot more open to other nutrition plans), but it’s taken a lot of conscious effort to subdue that part of my personality and embark on a healing process.

This article is part of that healing process. After supplying a quiz to see if an eating intervention is necessary and providing a 5-step plan, Whole9 encourages each person to do what’s right for them: “The Whole30 program can be a valuable tool in your health and fitness arsenal, but it’s not for everyone.”

That simple statement makes me feel human and reminds me that they are human too. My experience has been normalized and it turns out that, perhaps, not all Paleo Rock Stars are robots.

So if your Paleo lifestyle has become a hot mess, I’d encourage you to check out the article and comments; you won’t find any PaleoBots there. We’re all human, and as it turns out, that’s okay.

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Friday Link Love: Paleo Pad Thai

10 Feb

There is so much great content out there. Here’s a sampling of what I’m reading when I’m not writing.

Paleo Pad Thai by Melissa Joulwan

Paleo Pad Thai on The Clothes Make the Girl. This meal is delicious. So delicious that we made it after the kids went to bed so we wouldn’t have to share. I personally think it stands alone as a meal itself rather than as a substitute for the real thing, but that’s probably because I don’t make substitute Paleo meals. And speaking of Asian cuisine…

The Asian Paradox: How can Asians Eat So Much Rice and Not Gain Weight? on Mark’s Daily Apple.

Paleo and PCOS on Paleo Pepper. This girl knows her stuff when it comes to Paleo and PCOS. Just a heads up: I seem to remember this article is clean, but there is a fair amount of swearing on the rest of the site.

Meet the 105-Pound, 13-Year-Old Girl Who Is a Record-Holding Powerlifter on The Blaze. Yeah, that’s right. This barely-teenager can deadlift more than my body weight. She’s also a Paleo-adherent.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease is Increasing on Journal Watch. Looks like Baby Mimi won’t be alone if her blood tests come back positive.

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An Update on Baby Mimi’s Leaky Gut

8 Feb

Hi, my name is Mimi and I have gut problems.

In October, I posted how Paleo is not always enough to heal someone from all their ailments. Some people transition to the Paleo lifestyle seamlessly while others require a boost.

My baby Mimi–19 months old–needs a boost.

Dr. Tim Gerstmar from Aspire Natural Health is coordinating these efforts. He’s a fabulous naturopathic doctor in Washington state that I met briefly at the Ancestral Health Symposium. I hesitated to call him since I don’t live in Washington, but phone consultations and email work really well for us and we’re happy with Dr. Gerstmar. He explains everything in layman’s terms, presents treatment options that I can choose from and be comfortable with, and never makes me feel stupid for asking questions.

The diagnosis.

Stool test kit. Oh boy, I could write a book about this 3-day madness. Let's just say I'm glad it's over.

Little Meems has some issues:

  • Her stool test came back and she has high inflammation markers. Lysozyme is 650 (upper limits are 600) and her lactoferrin is a whopping 103 when it should be under 7.3–that’s 14x the upper limit.
  • She’s got some good gut flora (but totally lacking lacto), some neutral-flora-gone-bad, and some dysbiotic flora.
  • Her protective cell barbed wire (secretory IgA) is low, low, low.
  • She’s anemic
  • Her motor/cognitive/social/emotional development has all slowed down.

Mimi’s markers are also high enough that we’re getting the little lady tested for Irritable Bowel Disease (IBD). IBD is autoimmune and is better known as Crohn’s or Ulcerative Colitis.

That’s a lot going on for a 19-month-old.

The treatment

Broth makes a gut feel good

Allow me to preface: This treatment is specific to my daughter. I am posting in case someone needs an idea of where they might be able to start, but ultimately, this was designed specifically for Mimi.

  • Paleo diet. Plus the addition of bone broth and fermented foods if I can get her to drink/eat it.
  • Remove all sugars and starches. Sugars are feeding her bad gut flora. No more fruit, sweet potatoes, squash, beets, yucca, or any other good PWO dense carb sources for this girl.
  • Breastfeed. Dr. Gerstmar believes that the breast milk is what’s holding her all together and preventing the inflammation from going crazy. I don’t have to maintain the same diet as the babe, but whatever I eat crosses into my milk. So I am also on Mimi’s stricter-than-strict Paleo diet (plus the autoimmune protocol for myself). That leaves me eating a lot of greens. If I don’t have a totally rockin’ bod by May, I’m going to be a little disappointed.
  • Antibiotic. We could experiment with the more natural route and see if it works, but I feel like we’ve done enough experimenting and it’s time to bring in the big guns.
  • Probiotic. She needs a healthy dose of probiotics to increase her good gut flora, especially with the round of antibiotics that’s going to kill off any that remains. We’re giving her two pinches a day of Klair Labs Ther-biotioc Infant Fomula because they’re well-known for being allergen-free. Side note: If giving with antibiotics, space out the timing so the probiotic doesn’t get killed upon ingestion. I never realized that, so we’re doing anti at breakfast and dinner, pro at lunch and bedtime.
  • Herbal Remedy. After the 10-day round of antibiotics, we’re starting her on some herbs. I can’t remember what these do, but I recall liking the idea.

Duration: Retest stool 3 months after the antibiotic, expect to be on the protocol for a year. That is a long time to keep my baby girl away from bananas.

What this means for our real life.

One of Mimi's regular positions. I always thought she was doing Pilates. Turns out her gut was inflamed.

I had inclinations that Mimi had mild Leaky Gut. Admittedly, I was under the impression that we would get stool test results, put her on some probiotics, go on a GAPS/Weston A. Price/Paleo mixed protocol, and call it good. No big deal.

I wasn’t expecting how emotional I would get over treating a sick baby. It’s really hard. And sad. And frustrating. And debilitating, at times.

I knew intuitively my baby was sick. But having confirmation that she’s been sick, and for a very long time,  is a tough pill to swallow. I can handle my own PCOS and health problems, but my sweet angel baby? It’s almost too much to bear.

My comfort lies in knowing that mother’s intuition is real. I did things unconventionally for my baby girl because I just felt like it needed to happen. There were signs–wouldn’t lay on her stomach, waking up several times at night for 16 months, food allergies/sensitivities, weird rashes, psoriasis, hair wouldn’t grow on top or sides, slowing development– and I received some criticism and a lot of unsolicited advice about how to get her to sleep at night or help her crawl/walk. But something was off about the logical suggestions that worked magically for my son. I didn’t have solid research to back me; just gut feelings. And those gut feelings have kept her healthier, hallelujah.

I am really thankful to start this journey as a Paleo family. With the exception of a couple of tortilla chips and whatever she gets from my breast milk, Mimi has been Paleo since birth. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to learn how to live this lifestyle on top of changing a toddler’s entire diet (taking away blueberries, Aidell’s chicken apple sausages, and butternut squash is already causing plenty of stress in our home).

In May, I’ll let you know what the new results say. I’m hoping her intestines look pretty and she’s got a little bit more hair.

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MovNat

6 Feb

MovNat with Brian Tabor in Las Vegas

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Well how about that? I ended up on the MovNat website this weekend. In case you were wondering about the one-day workshops…they’re awesome.

Forget a Whole30, I’d settle for a Whole1

1 Feb

(I am shelving the binge eating series for a while. I’ve written and re-written the next post 8 times, but it’s still not feeling right. Perhaps I’m not quite ready to continue the public address. Emotional problems are a bummer sometimes. Sigh.)

I write a short letter to my children nearly every day. For a few months, I didn’t miss a single day. I had no goal, just a simple commitment that “Today I will write in my kids’ journals.”

When I finally missed a day, I convinced myself I could make it up. I never did, and I stopped journaling for two months because I was overwhelmed by how much self-imposed work I had to do.

This all-or-nothing scenario plays out a lot in my life, and eating (clean) is no exception.

My WholeNothings

Whole9 Foundations Workshop January 2011 with Dallas and Melissa (then-Urban) Hartwig (I have a history of awkwardness with blogebrities, which explains the arm placement.)

About a year ago, I was honored to be a featured Whole30 success story. I completed the Whole30 twice with excellent results and did a third one in March.

Since then, I’ve taken a page out of Walter Mondale’s book and lost the fire in my belly, replacing it with grains, sugar, and all manner of poisons. The program hasn’t changed its awesomeness and I’m still Paleo, but the 30-days-in-a-row-no-exceptions eludes me. I’ve started a new Whole30 at least 30 times, most lasting 1 day. January’s attempt made it to the 19th before my anxiety convinced me chips and salsa would fix my problems (spoiler: it didn’t).

My WholeFourMonths

Now I have a WholeFourMonthsPossiblyLonger staring me in the face. My baby is sick and her treatment would be optimal (but not necessary) with pure breast milk.

I’m told eating clean for 30 days isn’t as hard as quitting heroin or beating cancer, and I believe that. When I had the Big Bad PCOS Enemy to beat, the Whole30 was easy-peasy-puddin’-pie. Now that I’m out of survival mode and have a debilitating disease behind me, the motivation simply isn’t there. Perhaps there’s something to this stress junkie business.

Living in the Present

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I’ve come to the recent realization that there is a very fine line between planning things to better live your life and living your life to better plan. I cross that line often, and forget to live in the present.

So when I make a commitment to a Whole30, I forget that yes, I have a 30-day goal, but it’s not Day 30 that matters. It’s Day Today.

If I think about how I should eat Whole30-clean for four months until I get test results back for my babe, I am overwhelmed and run straight for the coconut milk ice-cream, Junior Mints, and lotus rice. If I remind myself, “Today I am going to eat clean,” the challenge isn’t so formidable.

I’m on my fourth Whole1 today. No guilt, no shame, no remorse, and no expectations of perfection. It feels good.

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Hirsutism: The Big Hairy Truth

19 Jan

One of the most frequently emailed questions I receive: How soon did your PCOS symptoms begin to disappear after going Paleo?

Everyone seems to want to know about the weight loss, the fatigue, the skin tags, the infertility, the amenhorrhea, the male-pattern baldness. But by far, the most inquiries are about hirsutism.

So I thought I’d lay it all on the line for you. You’re welcome.

Naturally, this isn’t my favorite topic to address publicly. Despite an overall healthy self-confidence, excessive hair growth is insanely embarrassing for me. There is nothing that makes me feel less feminine and less vibrant, sexy, or strong. If you get squeamish or grossed out about women with body and facial hair, I urge you to stop reading NOW

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No, seriously. Turn away. This is not for the faint of heart.

Okay…don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

Scoring Hirsutism

First off, when determining a PCOS diagnosis, there needs to be evidence of elevated male hormone (testosterone), either visually or through blood tests. When assessing visually, medical doctors typically use the Ferriman-Gallwey score:

 

Source: women-health-info.com

For a second chart, visit ccjm.org.

My Own Case of Hirsutism

Being of Asian/Pacific Islander descent, my heritage precludes me from having excessive hair to begin with. And my father’s side (white) doesn’t seem to be too hairy either. So genetics appear to be in my favor for minimal hair growth, something I’ve never stopped being grateful for.

When I started Paleo in August of 2010, I had no expectations of improved health. I was just desperate for something to stall the weight gain. I had a 2-month-old baby and was on the extended breastfeeding plan (if she would nurse). As evidenced by my first child, I gain weight while nursing, so the thought of 18+ months of weight gain when I was already close to 200 pounds contributed greatly to my postpartum depression.

I wasn’t looking for my hirsutism to disappear and had no reason to believe it would. About 5 months in, I looked down at my belly and noticed the light “trail” that started from between my breasts, circled around my belly button, and continued it’s merry way downward….vanished. Where was it?

I started checking all the usual spots that remind me of my fallibility. Jawline, sideburns, breasts, corners of my lips, bottom of my chin, toes. If there was anything remaining, it was so faint it could hardly be constituted even as peach fuzz.

I don’t know when the hair fell away. One day, it was gone.

Hirsutism, 17 months post-Paleo

In general, my score is about a 1 now. As mentioned in my I no longer have PCOS post, when I stray for a few weeks from Paleo, the hair begins a gradual return (mostly on my belly and breasts) and I know it’s time to get back to eating right. As I’m sure you can imagine, that is a very compelling reason to back off the grains and sugar.

So there you have it. A Hirsutism Fairy Tale. It’s not an easy one to share, feeling a lot more like Grimm than Disney, but inquiring minds want to know and I have a habit of sharing way too much.

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23 1/2 Hours: What is the Single Best Thing We Can Do for Our Health?

12 Jan

Continuing the binge/disordered eating series on Mondays starting next week.

 

Spoiler Alert: This video takes totally dry, boring, redundant information and completely captivates the viewer with illustrations.

Can all of my textbooks look like this?

* For the record, I still think proper nutrition is the single best thing we can do for our health, but the presented information is still good.

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Meet the Cast: Food Personalities

5 Jan

In the last post, I explained how Paleo turned into my most nutrient-dense eating disorder to date. Because of emotional issues that I haven’t wanted to explore (or don’t know how to), I bury myself in food when the going gets tough. Food (whether eating it or not eating it) becomes my constant companion. Paleo in particular has been especially challenging and I’ve personified it in countless dysfunctional ways.

Meet the Cast

These are my leading actors and actresses. There are others that make an appearance, but they all stem from The Big Six.

1. The Self-Worth Measure. In my darker moments, my self-worth was measured by how strict my adherence to Paleo was. These are the times I would binge heavily. And then continue to binge, beating myself up about what a total loser I was since I knew what to eat and still wouldn’t do it.

2. The Vindicator. My way of showing the world that I wasn’t crazy. I was listening to my intuition the whole time, despite the constant criticism and doubt. Calories in/calories out didn’t work for me the way they did for others. I wasn’t exercising less than I said, and I wasn’t lying about my calorie or sugar intake. I wasn’t doing it wrong. See, I told you so.

3. The Healthy Lifestyle. This is my favorite one–the reason I wish was always at the forefront. The true reasons I love Paleo–because it makes me feel good and allows me to live a more fulfilling life with fewer doctors’ appointments.

4. The Distraction. A perfect reason to not face any other issues in my life because I was spending way too much time meal planning and grocery shopping and cooking. And because Paleo is sooooooo haaaaaaaard, I can’t possibly focus on anything else.

5. The Marker of Self-Righteousness. It’s taken me a very long time to realize that while I believe Paleo is a great starting point for almost everyone, it’s not the right diet if someone won’t do it. Not everyone starts in the same place, and goodness knows I started somewhere way below Paleo. It seems that once I found what worked, I forgot that I spent 4 years trying a million diets before finding Paleo. If I would have found Paleo at the beginning of my journey, there’s no way I would have chosen it (because I don’t like eating meat). Why I can’t remember that for everyone else is more than unfortunate. I’m sorry for being a zealot.

6. The Proof that I am a Good Mother. Accepting my children as they are is a struggle. I want the best for them, whatever that means, and I have some undefined expectation of what that looks like. When my son would do something quirky, I might respond with, “Well you should see how he used to be when he wasn’t Paleo. We’ve made significant improvements.” I couldn’t handle the way I perceived people were judging my child (and by default, my mothering), so I let Paleo be my out.

I can’t be the only one who does this, right? With the exception of number 3, none of these personalities have anything to do with food or will-power. They are feelings of inadequacy, fear, anger, embarrassment, and disappointment masked by an unhealthy relationship with a simple caveman diet.

A couple months ago I hit my binge-eating rock bottom. Completely out of alignment with my spirit and eating so much crap I thought my PCOS was coming back, I finally started to explore these emotional issues. I didn’t know what they were at first, but I’m discovering them one-by-one. The healing isn’t complete–29 years of food confusion doesn’t dissipate overnight–but peace is finding me.

In the next few posts, I’ll share with you my journey of how I discovered my binge eating has absolutely nothing to do with food or self-discipline. Even better, upon examining my reasons for bingeing, I realized the emotional issues I fought so hard to avoid weren’t nearly as frightening as I’d made them out to be.

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Paleo: A Nutrient-Dense Eating Disorder?

3 Jan

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I love Paleo. I don’t think that’s any surprise to someone who’s been following this blog. Our family has spectacular, tangible results: I overcame PCOS, my son’s ASD symptoms reduced dramatically, my husband started running faster, and my baby stopped crying non-stop.

What I haven’t been as forthcoming about are the emotional struggles intertwined with my successes. I’ve mentioned them lightly in the comments or in matter-of-fact ways on several posts, but I’ve skirted around allowing myself to be genuinely vulnerable—to myself, to my family, to anyone.

I have a long history of using food to grasp control of my life. Through overeating, undereating, counting calories, weighing and measuring, not caring, making year-long food resolutions. It doesn’t matter. I could take anything healthy and manipulate it into something where I had an illusion of control.

Paleo–in all its nutritious glory–is no different, except that the strict nature and potential for social isolation exacerbated my dysfunctional relationship. Because it works so well for me, the pendulum swings from both ends swiftly—complete joy over my progress to complete shame for not following through. The best physical results coupled with some of my worst emotional results.

Food Schizophrenia

Image by Alissa Empey

My Paleo wears many hats; I give it different personalities and roles that are sometimes healthy, usually not. At times, it is the perfect diet. During others, I hand over complete control—to a non-human, non-thinking, non-judgmental way of eating.

I abuse myself by believing that Paleo is anything more than that. It has no feelings and surely isn’t paying attention to when I eat a cookie (or twelve). It doesn’t redeem me from my health sins and is not invested in the outcome of my life. It’s food. And it’s just there.

I’m working hard on this area of my life and I’d like to believe I’m completely over these problems. I’m not. Even just writing them down, I realize how deep they run. In the next post I will share some of the personalities I’ve given to food, with follow-up posts addressing how I am healing myself from binge eating.

This is a difficult topic to speak of publicly, but I’m thrilled to share this journey with you and invite you to be vulnerable with me. Please feel free to ask questions, share experiences, and heal together. See you Thursday.

Oh yes, and Happy New Year. 2012 is going to be a good one.

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Farewell to PCOS: What an UNdiagnosis Really Means

30 Dec

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As noted in my last post, my doctor cleared me of PCOS. After blood tests and an ultrasound, I didn’t meet any of the three requirements.

It’s safe to say this was the best news I received in 2011.

When I first learned that my PCOS was no longer an official diagnosis, I went through some sort of strange near-grieving period. PCOS has been with me for so long–such an integral part of my identity–that my heart and mind were a jumbled mix of feelings and confusion.

Elated, absolutely. Thrilled. Delighted. Relieved. Overjoyed.

And also a bit empty. My mission was gone. The fight I’d been fighting so fervently, working just to manage and cope with the symptoms of this dang disease, was over. In a matter of seconds, unexpected news from my doctor opened a new world of non-PCOS thoughts.

I had flashes of what do I do now? Who am I?

And then I began to reflect: I wasn’t fighting as fervently, I wasn’t trying to get by, I was no longer in a state of constant efforting. For 5 years, I’d been so focused on the fact that I have PCOS and therefore must suffer that I failed to recognize my symptoms had indeed vanished. The blood tests were just confirming what I realized long ago: Paleo works for me.

I’m over the emptiness now. I am the same person with one less label. Losing my diagnosis doesn’t change what I do daily; only what I write on my insurance forms. And it adds yet another weapon in my Paleo arsenal.

Truly, I couldn’t be happier that Paleo worked for my body to reverse PCOS.

Am I cured?

That remains to be seen, but I imagine the answer is no. I don’t have symptoms, my blood work is clean, and my ovaries have so few cysts that I can hardly be called polycystic.

However, I still have the scars from metabolic derangement. I’m incredibly sugar-sensitive. If I merely entertain the idea of grains, I swear I gain weight (and my husband swears I do, too). When I eat poorly, my PCOS symptoms come back. When I eat poorly for several days, my PCOS symptoms come back with a vengeance, as if making up for lost time.

Diagnosis removal is a fantastic ego boost, but there isn’t any difference in my daily routine. I still identify deeply with the PCOS community and I still eat Paleo. My guess is I would go right back to PCOS if I return to my daily bowl of mac and cheese. I doubt I can ever remove the treatment (proper nutrition), but I can live a perfectly full life without being hindered by the side effects of PCOS. That’s what matters, right?

(Though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t holding on to the hope that I may one day eat nightshades again. Fingers crossed.)

I’m in a good place. No longer an emotional slave to a diagnosis AND I have a built-in accountability system that keeps me healthier because of my PCOS history.  The best of both worlds.

Paleo, you treat me real good. Thanks for a great 2011.

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A Farewell to PCOS

28 Dec

No risk shooting the messenger during this visit

Routine well-woman visits are not very fun.

Imagine my surprise when I walked out of my doctor’s office with an uncontrollable smile on my face. Giddy beyond belief. Wanting to call all of my friends and family. Greeting strangers with overly enthusiastic salutations and even stopping to make friends with the lady in the hallway who traveled all the way from Waller to see the doctor because he was “the best OB/GYN this side of the Mississippi.”

Prior to my appointment, I’d requested blood work. My periods hadn’t resumed after the birth of my babe (10-months-old at the time). I was still nursing 4-5 times per day, but given my PCOS history, I wanted to play it safe and requested every single blood test I could think of. And my doctor, being the brilliant man that he is, requested about twice as many to add to the phlebotomist’s task list.

It was such a surreal appointment that I wrote a little one-act play to depict the events.

A Farewell to PCOS

Scene: Jennifer waits patiently in room 4. Infant rips paper on exam bed.

Dr. E: (opens door and enters room)

Jennifer: (looks up expectantly)

Dr. E: Well I’ve looked through your blood work and you don’t have PCOS anymore.

Jennifer: (smiling broadly and crying)

End scene.

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Merry Christmas

25 Dec

Sixth Annual Tacky Christmas Sweater Party

Merry Christmas, from our family to yours.

Lifting for Women: More than just light weight, lots of reps

20 Dec

When I saw this photo in a “health and fitness” magazine replete with cosmetic surgery ads, I giggled. I’d be willing to bet Dr. Rochelle Parks-Yancy lifts a lot heavier weights than those 5-pound neoprenes in her hands to achieve that smokin’ hot bod of hers.

Photos and stories that take these awesome bodies and package it into the concept of “light weight, many reps” perpetuate the myth that women shouldn’t lift heavy weights. As I learn more about what it really takes to get a great body, I smile thinking about how long I believed such craziness.

I threw shotput and discus in high school. Never an athlete and certainly not competitive, this itty bitty choir-nerd-turned-thrower was a stretch of the imagination. My reasons were threefold: I didn’t want another year of PE because being so uncoordinated is utterly embarrassing, the track coach was a very young/handsome/nice man, and I wanted buff arms.

I succeeded in opting out of PE, but the buff arms never came (we won’t even talk about the track coach).

I spent the whole season at 24-hour Family Fitness doing 20 reps of bicep curls with 5-pounders, and using those same 5-pounders for tricep extensions, rows, presses, shoulder raises, flys, and lawnmower pulls. I could feel the burn.

All those after-school gym sessions. What a waste of time and lactic acid.

Luckily, Rachel Cosgrove, Lou Schuler, and Mark Sisson found their way into my life, convincing me that I could pick up more than 5 pounds. My husband told me all along, but since “he didn’t know anything about women’s bodies,” I continued to get all of my fitness info straight from the reputable sources on grocery store endcaps. I’ve apologized and we’re good.

Now I deadlift more than my body weight–a total thrill for my inner wimp. My high school self is telling me to drop those weights right now before I turn into a man! But my high school self also sucked at track because she was too weak to do a power clean with a 25-pound bar.

My new self is contemplating making 2012 the year to focus on strength. I live with an awesome coach and there is a power lifting competition in my town every summer. When I start bulking up like a man, I will know it’s time to put down the heavy (for me) weights. Until then, bring on the bumper plates.

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I would quit Paleo if it weren’t *my* bare minimum

15 Dec

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." --Jerry Seinfeld

That’s gotta be some sort of Paleo heresy.

I read countless blogs about how easy and manageable and fun Paleo is. Sure, there’s an element to that, and as I read these posts lauding the glories of Paleo (which I also write), it’s really simple for me to forget the hard logistics of the lifestyle.

Until I get into the kitchen.

Or the grocery store.

Or the play group for my two Littles.

Or pre-school. Or the family birthday parties. Or the social gatherings.

Paleo was my last resort. Like many people, I appreciate efficiency. I see no problem with doing the bare minimum to get max results. That should not be confused with laziness; I work hard (much of the time). If I can get a job done in 3 hours or in 5 hours, unless the company is good or I’m trying to teach my kids a lesson, I’m likely going to choose the 3-hour option.

I have several friends who maintain the health, energy, and vigor they desire by doing significantly less than our family requires. I’ve tried what they do and it doesn’t work for me. Perhaps my body isn’t as strong as theirs, perhaps I have different goals. The reasons are irrelevant to me since it doesn’t change the outcome.

USDA Food Guide. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.
Vegetarianism. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.
Calories In/Calories Out. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.

Weight Watchers. Running. Aerobics/pilates/yoga. Exercising more. Eating less. Eating disorder. South Beach. Turbo Jam. I did those. I gained weight. I got sick.

In the fall fitness challenge, someone on our facebook page mentioned her husband lost 25 pounds. Whitney, the one with the rockin’ bod, cited a 12-pound loss.

I’ve been following most of the guidelines for a long time and the challenge wasn’t nearly as strict as my regular life. I loosened my Paleo standards a bit during those 8 weeks, falling well within the limits of the challenge. I gained 2 pounds. For me, taking candy out of my diet 6 days per week simply isn’t enough.

Paleo doesn’t bother me. On most days, I am fine knowing I have no in-town Paleo friends, no Paleo family, no Paleo restaurants, and few Paleo convenience foods.

I don’t love missing parties because I get tired of assuming people will be uncomfortable if I don’t eat (if I actually make them uncomfortable remains to be seen). Play group at McDonald’s would be more convenient if we didn’t have to bring our own lunch. Special cultural days at pre-school would be easier if the potluck section were gone, and therefore the gluten removed. But it’s not that way and that’s totally okay.

If I could maintain the body and health standards I want by eating low-fat dairy, whole grains, and juice (all part of the healthy, standard American diet), I would. But I tried that. I gained weight. I got sick.

Paleo? I’m doing that. I lost weight. I regained my health.

So Paleo it is. The choice is pretty clear for me. I still think a Paleo variation is the solution for a great majority of people seeking optimal health. But optimal health is subjective and not everyone is striving for my same brand of optimal health.

For me, optimal health means no more PCOS symptoms. No more chronic fatigue, body hair, acne, floaters, male-pattern baldness, depression, infertility…. Paleo or PCOS. Not everyone has to make that choice, but for me, this lifestyle is the bare minimum. If I could get by on less, I probably would.

Paleo is wonderful to me and makes me feel like a million bucks.

But it sure wasn’t my first choice.

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Reflection: Eight Week Fitness Challenge

12 Dec

Fitness is a family affair. Looks like The Boy is ready for some higher box jumps.

Thanks to the brilliance of social media, college friend Whitney updated her status on facebook indicating the last night to sign up for the Fall Fitness Challenge was rapidly approaching. Every time I check Whitney’s blog, she has either had another beautiful baby or completed another major running event. And she has a pretty rockin’ bod, so my interest was piqued.

The rules:
Off-limits for 6 days every week: no dessert, no soda, no eating after 8 pm
To do for 6 days each week: study scriptures 15 minutes, complete the weekly challenge
For 5 days each week: 30 minutes of exercise

The weekly challenges:
1. Maintain a daily food log
2. Get 7+ hours of sleep each night
3. Eat 5 servings of vegetables daily
4. Drink 64 oz. of water
5. Complete 100 sit-ups and 50 push-ups each day
6. Eat 4 servings of fruit daily
7. Eat 5 small meals daily
8. Walk or run 13.1 miles throughout the course of the week (equivalent of half marathon) in addition to 30 minutes of daily exercise.

This seemed manageable so I signed up. And by manageable, I meant easy.

While this wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done (ahem…natural childbirth), it certainly created a deeper self-awareness that I wasn’t anticipating. When I looked at the rules, there were certain areas that I thought would be a walk in the park while others would be more difficult. I was wrong on almost everything. Here’s the break down.

Daily stuff.

Initial Thought. Simple. I don’t do a lot of dessert, I haven’t taken a sip of soda since I was 16, and I meet with a group of women to do p90x at 5 am (3 times a week).

Reality. The scripture study was harder to prioritize, but I now do that at 6 while eating my post-workout meal. No eating after 8 was harder, even with the two-hour accommodation for nursing mothers. But the hardest part was the daily grind. I would finish at the eleventh hour, pleased with my accomplishment, only to realize I was starting all over again when I woke up.

Food log.
Initial thought. Easy-peasy and a good idea so I can dial in my nutrition.
Reality. I am past the stage of needing to write down what I eat and drink. I’m generally making good food choices and since I’m not a big believer in the calories in/calories out theory, the food log became a huge pain in the butt. If it had been included in the entire 8 weeks, I probably would have quit. However, when I am ready to make some serious progress in body composition/performance or work on a particular area of my health, I will keep a food log. Until then, it’s not a sustainable habit for me. Plus, I don’t want to look at fitday.com for a long time.

7 hours of sleep
Initial thought.  Terrified. My babe is not the best sleeper and I felt this challenge would be the one that made me lose since it felt entirely out of my control.
Reality. Awesome blossom. Forcing myself to go to bed earlier than the 7 required hours (because I didn’t know how long I would be up at night with the baby) was liberating. Things were left undone. I started simplifying my life. I rearranged my priorities. Only the most important stuff got done. I eliminated a lot of guilt for self-imposed projects that really weren’t that important to begin with. And I was well-rested. Rested Mama = Happy Mama

5+ servings of veggies per day
Initial thought. Easy.
Reality. Easy. Being a Paleoista who doesn’t like meat makes veggie consumption pretty commonplace.

64 oz. of water
Initial thought. Easy
Reality. HARD. What?! Why?! I’ve spent 29 years not slowing down to drink water so correcting that in a week was a pretty lofty goal. On the plus side, my perpetually chapped lips went away (apparently a sign of dehydration) and my kids started drinking a ton of water throughout the day with me. (Side note: if I were running the challenge, I probably would have changed the amount. Take body weight and divide by two. Drink that amount in fluid ounces. For me, 64 oz was about right, but someone who is 200 pounds needs more water than someone who is 110)

100 sit-ups and 50 push-ups
Initial thought. This will be fun.
Reality. It was fun. My husband and I raced on our sit-ups, discovering I can do 100 in a row without stopping (with room to spare). And the daily push-ups were a great jump start to getting better at true-form push-ups. I performed most of the 50 on my knees, but increased my regular push-ups. I can now go all the way down to my chest (rather than just halfway) and am knocking out 3-4 at a time. Push-ups were the very essence of impossible for me and now I’m hoping to get 10 by the end of the year.

4+ servings of fruit daily
Initial thought. I don’t know if I like this one….PCOS + lots of fruit = bad news.
Reality. Worse than I thought. I started resorting to olives and avocado as my fruit sources since all of that extra sugar reignited my sugar demons. Which fed well into the next challenge…

5 small meals daily
Initial thought. I can do this, but it’s going to be hard since I will be out of town at a training
Reality. I didn’t go out of town–sent my husband in my place. This challenge sort of screwed up the metabolism I’ve been working so hard to reset. Once the sugar addiction is gone, my body doesn’t need to eat every few hours. From the literature I’ve read recently, apparently that is evidence of being a sugar-burner rather than a fat-burner (and is not our body’s natural response if we are eating optimally). I don’t know anything about that. I just know for me, three meals a day is enough. But being the competitive being that I am, I soldiered through and my body took a hit for it. I can’t decide if I regret it or not since the learning experience was valuable.

Half marathon
Initial thought. This is going to be so rad!
Reality. Both kids were sick this week; fitting 13.1 miles in my spare time while the Littles needed extra mom efforts wasn’t ideal, particularly since I wasn’t comfortable taking them out into the freezing-booty-cold weather. I would actually like to complete this challenge again since it made me ask myself why I haven’t been walking more in the first place. My body feels better for it. The grocery store is only about 1.25 miles away, so I could load up the double stroller with my kids, meat, and veggies. The library isn’t far. Our church isn’t far. And importantly, Redbox is only a mile away. It’s invigorating to be outside and once we’re all on the mend, I am going to repeat this challenge to see if it’s a permanent change I’d like to make. I can see it definitely being a summer habit if nothing else.

Lessons Learned.
So what’s the take-away message for me? Quit thinking about food all the time, start drinking more water, walk to close places I might normally drive, and practice push-ups if I want to get better at them. Not a bad way to spend 8 weeks. Big thanks to Morgan for organizing the whole sh’bang.

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CrossFit: Biggest Loser Style

21 Nov

So much to update–Baby’s first appointment with a naturopathic doctor (Tim Gerstmar), PCOS study, Thanksgiving, how we did Halloween, camping-Paleo style, etc….

And believe it or not, I actually wrote a legitimate post this morning that needs a good edit tomorrow. Until then, I had to share this clip of Bob Harper putting Jillian Michaels through a CrossFit-style WOD (workout of the day for you exercisers of a different manner).

I can’t seem to embed the video, so here’s the link:  The Biggest Loser’s Bob Harper’s CrossFit Challenge featured on The Doctors (November 17).

I only watched The Biggest Loser for one season (with Sam and Koli). I don’t know what it is about that show; while it’s incredibly inspiring and leaves me in tears of celebration and sorrow, I can’t seem to get through an episode without eating crap. There’s something very guilt-inducing about sitting in front of a weight loss show, hoovering a pint (or two) of So Delicious Coconut Milk ice-cream. Plus, it wasn’t doing much for my insulin resistance.

Despite my lack of self-control, I like what Jillian and Bob do for thousands of people. Jillian’s 30-Day Shred motivated me to perfect my squats so I could complete the workout without aching knees and Bob’s Weight Loss Yoga helped clear my mind and increase my flexibility. I appreciate those two.

One thing I really respect about the above clip is that Jillian did not rock the WOD like I was expecting. It kicked her butt.

It takes a lot of courage to go on TV and suck at something you are known to excel at*. I applaud her for it.

Even more, I love that this will likely bring more CrossFit-style workouts to the general public. I am not a CrossFit elitist (I don’t think it’s the right workout for everyone…gasp!), but there are a lot of really powerful concepts in it that deserve to reach the women who are trying their hardest, but not achieving any results because they’re sticking to chronic cardio. If Bob or Jillian put that in their next workout videos, everyone wins.

* I do not wish to imply I would have done better, because I would most assuredly not have performed well.

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When Paleo Isn’t Enough

27 Oct

Paleo is just the beginning for this girl

Blogging has taken a backseat lately as I’ve been immersed in research. When I attended the Ancestral Health Symposium, one of the most eye-opening presentations was by Dr. BG and Dr. Tim Gerstmar regarding gut health.

If you haven’t seen it and are interested in some heavier science, give yourself 45 minutes to view The Rainforest in your Gut with the accompanying slide show. A major point was that while Paleo makes huge improvements and even heals a large population, for some people it just isn’t enough.

I am some people. So are my kids.

For me. The PCOS is in check, but I still know there are other aspects where I could use a little boost, particularly in the food sensitivity area. Every single item on the autoimmune protocol makes my stomach churn.

For my 3-year-old. My son is another case. Professionals cannot agree whether he is on the high-functioning side of the autism spectrum or is afflicted with a condition that often accompanies autism; regardless, he has symptoms that affect his everyday life. These symptoms reduced right around 75% with Paleo, but he was still having a lot of challenges with a variety of sensory issues. We started neurofeedback therapy in August and his symptoms are so much more manageable, I’ve been lauding neurofeedback ever since. And yet, we’re not quite there yet.

For my 16-month-old. And then there’s my baby, oh my sweet baby. She is allergic or sensitive to seemingly everything. If I eat dairy, soy, gluten, or corn, there is a range of responses from big time crying and the inability to sleep to rashes and eczema. As far as her own consumption, she has broken out in hives after eating eggs and nuts, and gotten consistent rashes from sweet potatoes, strawberries, and peaches. We maintain a strict Paleo diet for her, but she is still having some health problems.

Sounds a whole lot like leaky gut to me. I’ve been exploring the GAPS diet to start doing a gut-healing protocol since she sure appears to be suffering from leaky gut. But being allergic/intolerant to several items in the introduction diet poses an issue that requires a lot of research on Mommy’s part.

So that’s where we’re at right now. I heart Paleo. It has been a lifesaver and was the absolute right place for us to start. Now we are ready to expand. This journey is a long one. Posts, responses to comments, and emails will be sparse and I thank you already for your patience as I embark on a quest to have the best-looking intestines this side of the Mississippi.

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