Vibrant Sexy Strong

Image by shawncampbell

It’s been quiet over here for a few weeks. We went on an awesome month-long road trip as a family and I’ve been enjoying the downtime with my husband and Littles.

I’ve also done a bit of writing on the Modern Alternative Mama network

• Potty Talk:A Primer on Bowel Movements and Digestive Health (Modern Alternative Health)
• Organizing the Home: Cut the Clutter (Modern Alternative Mama)

But the most exciting part of my silence here on the blog is what I’ve been working on: An online how-to course about making practical PCOS lifestyle changes. For you. For FREE.

When I was diagnosed with PCOS, I had no idea where to start. I tried 101 different things and never felt I was getting any closer to a solution. I want to help you get started too.

The course needs some finishing touches, but expect to see it here on the blog before the end of the year.

What are some questions  you would like answered in a  PCOS lifestyle online course?

Image Source

As noted in my last post, my doctor cleared me of PCOS. After blood tests and an ultrasound, I didn’t meet any of the three requirements.

It’s safe to say this was the best news I received in 2011.

When I first learned that my PCOS was no longer an official diagnosis, I went through some sort of strange near-grieving period. PCOS has been with me for so long–such an integral part of my identity–that my heart and mind were a jumbled mix of feelings and confusion.

Elated, absolutely. Thrilled. Delighted. Relieved. Overjoyed.

And also a bit empty. My mission was gone. The fight I’d been fighting so fervently, working just to manage and cope with the symptoms of this dang disease, was over. In a matter of seconds, unexpected news from my doctor opened a new world of non-PCOS thoughts.

I had flashes of what do I do now? Who am I?

And then I began to reflect: I wasn’t fighting as fervently, I wasn’t trying to get by, I was no longer in a state of constant efforting. For 5 years, I’d been so focused on the fact that I have PCOS and therefore must suffer that I failed to recognize my symptoms had indeed vanished. The blood tests were just confirming what I realized long ago: Paleo works for me.

I’m over the emptiness now. I am the same person with one less label. Losing my diagnosis doesn’t change what I do daily; only what I write on my insurance forms. And it adds yet another weapon in my Paleo arsenal.

Truly, I couldn’t be happier that Paleo worked for my body to reverse PCOS.

Am I cured?

That remains to be seen, but I imagine the answer is no. I don’t have symptoms, my blood work is clean, and my ovaries have so few cysts that I can hardly be called polycystic.

However, I still have the scars from metabolic derangement. I’m incredibly sugar-sensitive. If I merely entertain the idea of grains, I swear I gain weight (and my husband swears I do, too). When I eat poorly, my PCOS symptoms come back. When I eat poorly for several days, my PCOS symptoms come back with a vengeance, as if making up for lost time.

Diagnosis removal is a fantastic ego boost, but there isn’t any difference in my daily routine. I still identify deeply with the PCOS community and I still eat Paleo. My guess is I would go right back to PCOS if I return to my daily bowl of mac and cheese. I doubt I can ever remove the treatment (proper nutrition), but I can live a perfectly full life without being hindered by the side effects of PCOS. That’s what matters, right?

(Though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t holding on to the hope that I may one day eat nightshades again. Fingers crossed.)

I’m in a good place. No longer an emotional slave to a diagnosis AND I have a built-in accountability system that keeps me healthier because of my PCOS history.  The best of both worlds.

Paleo, you treat me real good. Thanks for a great 2011.

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." --Jerry Seinfeld

That’s gotta be some sort of Paleo heresy.

I read countless blogs about how easy and manageable and fun Paleo is. Sure, there’s an element to that, and as I read these posts lauding the glories of Paleo (which I also write), it’s really simple for me to forget the hard logistics of the lifestyle.

Until I get into the kitchen.

Or the grocery store.

Or the play group for my two Littles.

Or pre-school. Or the family birthday parties. Or the social gatherings.

Paleo was my last resort. Like many people, I appreciate efficiency. I see no problem with doing the bare minimum to get max results. That should not be confused with laziness; I work hard (much of the time). If I can get a job done in 3 hours or in 5 hours, unless the company is good or I’m trying to teach my kids a lesson, I’m likely going to choose the 3-hour option.

I have several friends who maintain the health, energy, and vigor they desire by doing significantly less than our family requires. I’ve tried what they do and it doesn’t work for me. Perhaps my body isn’t as strong as theirs, perhaps I have different goals. The reasons are irrelevant to me since it doesn’t change the outcome.

USDA Food Guide. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.
Vegetarianism. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.
Calories In/Calories Out. I did that. I gained weight. I got sick.

Weight Watchers. Running. Aerobics/pilates/yoga. Exercising more. Eating less. Eating disorder. South Beach. Turbo Jam. I did those. I gained weight. I got sick.

In the fall fitness challenge, someone on our facebook page mentioned her husband lost 25 pounds. Whitney, the one with the rockin’ bod, cited a 12-pound loss.

I’ve been following most of the guidelines for a long time and the challenge wasn’t nearly as strict as my regular life. I loosened my Paleo standards a bit during those 8 weeks, falling well within the limits of the challenge. I gained 2 pounds. For me, taking candy out of my diet 6 days per week simply isn’t enough.

Paleo doesn’t bother me. On most days, I am fine knowing I have no in-town Paleo friends, no Paleo family, no Paleo restaurants, and few Paleo convenience foods.

I don’t love missing parties because I get tired of assuming people will be uncomfortable if I don’t eat (if I actually make them uncomfortable remains to be seen). Play group at McDonald’s would be more convenient if we didn’t have to bring our own lunch. Special cultural days at pre-school would be easier if the potluck section were gone, and therefore the gluten removed. But it’s not that way and that’s totally okay.

If I could maintain the body and health standards I want by eating low-fat dairy, whole grains, and juice (all part of the healthy, standard American diet), I would. But I tried that. I gained weight. I got sick.

Paleo? I’m doing that. I lost weight. I regained my health.

So Paleo it is. The choice is pretty clear for me. I still think a Paleo variation is the solution for a great majority of people seeking optimal health. But optimal health is subjective and not everyone is striving for my same brand of optimal health.

For me, optimal health means no more PCOS symptoms. No more chronic fatigue, body hair, acne, floaters, male-pattern baldness, depression, infertility…. Paleo or PCOS. Not everyone has to make that choice, but for me, this lifestyle is the bare minimum. If I could get by on less, I probably would.

Paleo is wonderful to me and makes me feel like a million bucks.

But it sure wasn’t my first choice.

I was talking with a few women when the topic came to bodies, as it often does amongst women. One of the ladies was complaining about her weight. I wasn’t offering anything but a listening ear to the conversation when I was surprised to hear her say: “Not that you would understand. I’m not skinny like you.”

Rewind.

Since transitioning into a Paleo lifestyle a year ago, I have lived in 4 different homes. Each move required meeting new people and making new friends. While my body composition is rapidly changing, those who are meeting me for the first time have no idea the journey I’ve been on. This woman doesn’t know that I’ve lost 60 pounds in the past year.

Rather than explain how really, I actually do know what it’s like to be fat, her comment brought me face-to-face with my own body image issues.

In high school and my freshman year of college, I was teeny tiny. Skinny fat, yes, but still tiny. I had a 23″ waist and weighed right around 105 pounds (sometimes less). Being such a late bloomer, I still didn’t have hips and struggled to find size 0 jeans that weren’t too big. Goodness, I didn’t even need to wear a bra.

I didn’t really have much concept of how small I was. Because I didn’t stare at my reflection all day in the mirror, I kind of just assumed I was the same size as everyone else, despite being rather on the extra-extra-small side.  I remember hearing that the average woman was a size 10 and I was astonished. I was dissatisfied with my body, but I couldn’t even fathom wearing a size 10 or imagine all of these women around me wearing a 10 either (though they were probably in the 8-range).

During my second year of college, I was still shopping for size 0 jeans. I gained 24 pounds my freshman year, but somehow it always took me by surprise that I couldn’t squeeze into a size 0 (or size 1 for that matter). For the better part of 2 years, I was  putting the smaller jeans back and reaching for the 3s and 4s. I realized I was getting bigger, but only after several confusing trips to Abercrombie & Fitch.

Fast forward 8 years. I weighed 197 pounds when I checked into the hospital to have my second baby and was heavier when I was discharged. I was hoping for extended breastfeeding with this baby, but terrified because I gained tremendous amounts of weight while breastfeeding. As my nutritionist explained, “Unfortunately, you are one of the few women that will actually gain weight while nursing.” I wasn’t having a difficult time choosing between being fat and nourishing my baby; I just didn’t like the seemingly inevitable side effects of giving my daughter nature’s best nutrition.

I had already been made painfully aware of my inability to lose weight after my first son and recognized that much of it was due to PCOS. My self-image at this point was F-A-T-fat. And only getting fatter.

Paleo of course saved my bacon and allowed me to eat it too. My body comp has changed, but I’m still a little slow in the brain department.

The woman who said I was skinny caught me completely off-guard. I hadn’t been described as skinny in years, nor had I thought of myself that way. I weigh less now than when I got married over 8 years ago, but my brain hasn’t processed that I’m a much smaller version of myself.

And therein lies one of my biggest challenges. On my quest for optimal health, will I even recognize it when I obtain it? Am I just another woman that is unrealistically seeking to lose one more inch here, firm up a little there? Even when I have the “perfect” body (whatever that means), will I try to make it more perfect?

"More" perfect?

I still don’t view myself as skinny. However, I am happy with my body, which is a major accomplishment in itself. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine. It does amazing things for me and allows me to do amazing things for others, most specifically my husband and children.

Seeing myself properly is a work-in-progress and I am getting more adept at it everyday. I don’t dwell on my weight, but I often forget that I’m not that 200-pound woman of 2010. I have yet to embrace that I am a 129-pound woman and a good 50 inches smaller; I’m hoping that will come soon. I don’t have a goal–one of the first times in my entire life–and that continues to propel me toward a healthier body image. Perhaps in two years, I will have attained more clarity; maybe going so far as to try on the right jean size the first time.

I have food issues. It’s true.

While I believe my relationship with food is generally healthy (now), it’s still a work in progress.

I think about food way too much: what I’m putting into my body, why I’m putting it into my body, how each food makes me feel after I eat it, how meat makes me gag but my body craves it like nobody’s business, what I’m going to eat at my next meal, what my kids are going to eat, how much time I will need to allocate for food prep, what I’m going to do if we happen to be spontaneous and need something to bring for my bottomless pits I affectionately call my children.

Okay, perhaps my relationship is not as healthy as I would like to think. But it’s getting there, and it’s getting easier.

I have a long history of disordered eating. Food has not been very good to me, and in turn, I have not been very good to myself.

A recent email from a reader reminded me of this history. Paleo is much easier for me now, but it hasn’t always been.

[A] reason that I stopped Paleo for a while is because I started blaming myself for PCOS. Seriously. I got it in my head that my eating caused my PCOS. I would look at every morsel of food and worry so much that every little ounce would cause me to ruin my fertility. I kind of got obsessive and had to stop.

And you know what I say to this reader? Good for her for stopping. Sure, Paleo is likely going to bring her better physical health, but there comes a point where you have to put a stop to the crazy and revamp yourself.

I’ve gone through this phase. Several times.

I would never have all these problems and wouldn’t have passed on all of these health issues to my two innocent children if I hadn’t eaten all those _____ (fill in the blank; if it’s unhealthy and not illegal, I’m sure I ate it).

Is it true? Would I have been PCOS-free my entire life had I been on a strict Paleo diet from the beginning?

Maybe, maybe not. Who’s to know? Besides the nutritional problems of modern society, there are a whole host of other environmental factors that are out there beating up our bodies in several ways: stress, overworking, the sedentary lifestyle that is a true challenge to avoid, chemicals in our food/plastics/medicines/vaccinations/cleaning products/everything, food industry practices, the endless glow of electricity that messes up our internal clocks, etc etc etc etc etc.

Oh, and genetics. That’s sort of a big deal too.

And while I would love to know the why of PCOS, it’s so speculative right now. Some think it is solely diet; some believe it is purely genetic; some believe it is genetic and triggered by lifestyle factors; some don’t care and just want to pump as much Metformin in you as possible.

Chris Kresser recently posted a fantastic article that re-opened my eyes to the possibility that I didn’t cause my own disease (and even if I did, let’s put our energies elsewhere). In Reframing the obesity debate: cause/effect, genetics & robot clones, Kresser reminds us that “it’s essential to separate the causes and treatment of obesity.”

He goes on to say:

We know without a doubt that statins lower cholesterol. But does that mean high cholesterol is caused by a statin deficiency? If you break your arm, your doctor will probably put a cast on to help it heal. Does that mean we should all wear casts on our arms to make sure they don’t break?

I love this. Just because Paleo alleviates my PCOS symptoms does not implicate the Standard American Diet as the sole cause of my disease in the first place.

So did I cause my PCOS? Perhaps. And perhaps not. Right now all of the causes are unclear. I suppose all I can worry myself about right now is treating it. Which I am when I’m able to step back for a moment and stop blaming myself.

Fast snacks aren’t exactly the paragon of Paleo. Especially with two little ones, every outing feels like a camping trip. To make things a little easier throughout the day, is is generally how we snack.

My children (ages 3 and 1) also eat these as their snacks as opposed to having separate “kid” snacks lying around the house. There aren’t a lot of fruit options on here because as it turns out, any more than 2 servings in a day for my son = terrible tantrums and major difficulty sleeping. And sometimes 2 servings is too much.

1. Leftovers. This is our big go-to every day, whether it is Mel’s Cottage-Flower Pie or a batch of curry.

2. Raw.

• Cucumber
• Jicama
• Bell peppers
• Avocado
• Sugar snap peas
• Trail Mix (when I’m in a bind) of macs, almonds, walnuts, raisins, apricots, coconut flakes

3. A little more effort.

• Smoothie (frozen strawberries, coconut milk, spinach, cinnamon, etc)
• Guacamole
• Cashew hummus
• Kale salad with whatever protein I have left in the fridge

4. Cook up a batch and store in the fridge.

• Steamed broccoli and cauliflower. Dress with a little olive oil and pepper.
• Sauteed carrots. Sauteed in coconut oil with onions.
• Sauteed green beans. These are pretty frequent right now since my mom’s garden is producing a huge batch every day. Coconut or olive oil, garlic powder, and a little salt and pepper
• Meatballs
• Homemade jerky
• Hard-boiled eggs
• Sausage patties

5. Pre-Made.

• Olives
• Tuna or salmon
• SeaSnax (I prefer Toasty Onion)
• Coconut butter (Artisana is my favorite)
• PaleoKits (usually for traveling)
• Larabars (emergency only)

Any other tips? What do you do for snacks? Can you get out of the house without feeling like it’s a camping trip?

—–

Photo Courtesy

*UPDATE at bottom

As mentioned last week, the PCOS study is ON!

This is not a medical study. Paleo works wonders for me in alleviating/eliminating my PCOS symptoms and I would like to see if others are getting comparable results.

Who can participate? Anyone with PCOS who would like to complete a 30-day Paleo program in the company of other women with PCOS. It doesn’t matter if you have already started eating Paleo or if this is your first step into the Paleo lifestyle.

* Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional in any way, shape, or form. All participation is completely voluntary and you should consult your doctor before starting a new dietary program or changing your medications. (Does that cover my backside?)

Purpose: To see the effects of a 30-day Paleo diet on the symptoms of PCOS including, but not limited to: weight gain/loss, fatigue, hair loss, excessive hair growth, anxiety, depression, brain fog, acne, acanthosis nigricans, sleep quality, etc.

The Details. Here are the details for anyone who would like to participate:

• Tuesday, September 6. This is our start date–the day after Labor Day. End date is Wednesday, October 5.  The study is 30 days.
  
• Whole3o. Following the Whole30 program is the bulk of the study. All dietary guidelines are included in the link.
• Pre-start questionnaire. Complete a questionnaire prior to beginning. All information will be confidential and will not be shared unless given express permission.
• Before and after photos. Please take these on your own. Further guidelines will be provided.
• Body measurements. I will give you a list of measurements to take before beginning your Whole30 on Tuesday.
• Email Questions. On occasion, I will email a couple of questions to you throughout the 30 days.
• Post-challenge Questionnaire. This will look similar to the first questionnaire.

Any individual information will be kept completely confidential unless given express permission to share it. I will however, publish any collective results here on the blog.

If you would like to participate, please email me so I can give you further details: vibrantsexystrong (at) gmail (dot) com

I look forward to working with all of you! Let’s get a handle on this PCOS crap and start feeling vibrant, sexy, and strong.

UPDATE: Body measurements and photos are also kept completely confidential. Any identifying information will not be seen by anyone but me unless permission is granted prior.

The sixth chapter in my continuing PCOS story. Find all published posts here.

You should have seen it coming.

But how could I have seen it coming? I’d never even heard of PCOS.

There was obviously something wrong with you.

But that was my normal. I didn’t know something was wrong with me.

Oh come off it. It’s your fault it got this far. Look at the signs.

And I did look at the signs.

This monologue was on repeat in my mind for weeks. The self-deprecating, guilt-inducing segment of my brain was right. There were signs.

I didn’t start my period until I was 16.
I’d only had seven periods in my entire life that were not medically-induced. That’s less than one a year.
The pain was so tremendous, I felt like ripping out my own uterus each time I had one of those seven periods.
I was skinny fat first and then just fat.
I was hungry all the time. Nothing satisfied me.
I gained weight no matter how few calories I took in and how much I exercised.
I went in for weekly allergy shots in high school.
Chunks of my hair were always falling out.
Acne only stopped when I was on birth control.
I was exhausted all the time.
I went through four different birth controls, none of them making me feel normal.
I woke up nauseous every morning. For years.
Skin tags. Skin tags everywhere.
Hair on my face and belly and toes and elsewhere.
I had bad sugar crashes in the early morning and again in the late afternoon.
I gained 40 pounds in a year. Unexplained.

But seeing as I only had one body, I didn’t know this was abnormal. A doctor always had a reason why, and none of it pointed to PCOS. I was too skinny for that.

—–

Sometimes when I read posts written by the segment of the Paleo crowd that loudly takes pride in how much meat they can eat in one sitting, I picture Uncle Rico hurling cuts of NY strip at unsuspecting vegetarians while simultaneously managing to drop a few bites in his mouth.

I am positive some of their meat fervor at the expense of vegetarians is in jest and I’m not offended by it in the least. I do, however, think it hurts the movement a little bit because, unfortunately, not everyone realizes it’s in jest. I have people telling me I eat Paleo “wrong” because I eat vegetables. Ummm, no.

To complicate the dynamic further, there are a whole lot of vegans/vegetarians-turned-Paleo. When Denise Minger asked the crowd (in her How to Win an Argument with a Vegetarian presentation) how many used to be vegan/vegetarian, my unscientific estimation is that 75% of the attendees raised their hands. The inclination to be a bit over-zealous about animal protein consumption is likely a response to the vegetarian/vegan lifestyle that failed them in the first place.

This is certainly not an indictment of anyone who loves meat. Truth be told, I wish I could embrace their love and joyously add more to my plate. It would make every meal easier if I looked forward to the act of eating meat rather than just eating it because it helps my skin, nails, bones, hair, muscles, and body grow (yes, I have to tell myself that almost every meal).

Nor is this an indictment of Denise Minger. Because Denise Minger, she was fantastic. Funny, personable, well-researched, and spot-on. She armed the audience with several ways to question the science presented by the Plant-Based Diet Doctor Squad that consists of Dean Ornish, Caldwell Esselstyn, John McDougall, and Neal Barnard (I would also add Joel Fuhrman to that list). I loved her presentation and I fell in love with her, too. I only wish I would have met her, but since she was unofficially the best dressed woman at the conference, she generally had a crowd surrounding her (and I don’t do so well with crowds).

A love affair with meat just isn’t my thing, and I find great company in Nora Gedgaudes’ comment from AHS11:

“We need protein to be sufficient, but we don’t need to eat slabs and slabs of meat.”

Hallelujah. I have felt this way all along. The term plant-based diet is reserved for vegetarians and vegans, but the way our family lives Paleo seems to be plant-based as well. There are way more veggies on my plate than meat, and it’s nice to hear that every meal doesn’t need to resemble a churrascaria.

So if you love meat, eat on. If you don’t, it’s okay. Don’t feel bad.

UPDATE: Denise Minger posted a fantastic recap of AHS. Read the section Paleo and vegetarianism: let’s be friends! to learn more about Aravind the lacto-ovo paleo dieter. I would join his camp in a heartbeat if I could eat eggs or tolerate dairy.

* Recipes included: Chicken with Rosemary and Mushroom Glaze, Sauteed Cabbage, Roasted Green Beans

First off, a little math problem:

Disneyland > Every other place on the planet

Ancestral Health Symposium > Disneyland

Therefore…

Ancestral Health Symposium = Awesome

I have a million things synthesizing in my mind about the Ancestral Health Symposium and my mind is totally blown. A lot of my thoughts were confirmed, and even more topics were brought up that I never considered.

But since my brain is fried from a science-heavy weekend, I thought I’d treat myself to an easy post. Dinner.

Here is a typical meal at our house (avocado not pictured). My family scarfs this down like it’s the last meal they will ever have. It’s Paleo-friendly, PCOS-friendly, and scrumptious.

Protein: Chicken with Rosemary and Mushroom Glaze (courtesy Paleo Plan)

We adore this meal. I don’t even care for mushrooms, but I enjoy them immensely in this dish. Probably because Paleo has forced me to stop being so picky. The only issue we have is that the rosemary is a little hard for my 3-year-old to eat.

Carbohydrate: Sauteed Cabbage

Usually, we throw in a handful of pepitas and currants to liven up this dish, but I must have been out.

Ingredients: cabbage, olive oil, salt, pepper

Directions: Saute cabbage over medium heat with olive oil, salt, and pepper to desired tenderness.

Carbohydrate (part 2): Roasted Green Beans

Another family fave. The baby has a harder time with this one, but I just learned from Dr. Michael Mew that she needs to work on chewing hard veggies anyway for her jaw development.

Ingredients: green beans, olive oil, salt, pepper

Directions: Combine ingredients. Bake 350 for 25-30 mins.

Fat: Avocado, Olive Oil, Nuts

Not pictured. Sorry.

If you try any of these, let me know how they turned out. Happy eating!